1. If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
2. Good girls are bad girls, who never get caught.
3. I didn't change, I just woke up.
4. You are so awesome that, my middle finger salutes you.
5. Silence is better than lies.
6. I am not lazy, I just rest before I tired.
7. Be what you want to be, not what other wants to see.
8. If “Plan A” didn't work. Don’t worry; the alphabet has 25 more letters.
9. Do what is “Right”, not what is “Easy”.
10. If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.
11. I’m not perfect, I am original.
12. All girls are my sisters except you.
13. I am only responsible for what I say, not for what you
understand.
14. I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.
15. Before you judge me, Make sure that you’re perfect.
16. Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.
17. You can do anything, but not everything.
18. Having one child makes you a parent, having two makes you a
referee.
19. All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of
chips.
20. I never make stupid mistakes, only very-very clever ones.
21. I don't always have time to study... but when I do, I don't.
22. Sometimes you just need some space, to fart.
23. At least mosquitoes are attracted to me.
24. I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon
dioxide.
25. The only thing I gained so far in 2014 is weight.
26. Dry fruits are just fruits that have become senior citizens.
27. When you drop your phone, your heart hits the ground before
your phone does.
28. That moment when even Caps Lock can’t express your anger.
29. (-_-) x 1.3 Billion people = China
30. Dear Samsung, please also start selling jeans that can
accommodate your smartphones.
31. Sometimes the only one, who can appreciate you, is you.
32. Don’t steal, the government hates competition.
33. You’re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.
34. I'm pretty sure my prayers go directly to God's spam folder.
35. I am not fat, I am just. Easier to see.
36. I never make the same mistake twice. Three, four times maybe.
But never twice.
37. They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who’s in a
hurry?
38. A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is
finished.
39. You don’t realize how many clothes you have, until you wash
them.
40. When you wait for a waiter in a restaurant, aren’t you a
waiter?
41. Try to say the letter "M" without your lips touching.
42. Kidnapping? I prefer the term “surprise adoption”.
43. Weird is a side effect of awesome.
44. If girls could read minds..Every second a man would get
slapped.
45. Relationships are a lot like Algebra. Have you ever looked at
your X and wondered Y?
46. Think twice before you speak, you'd be able to say something
more Insulting.
47. I Was Born Cool, Global Warming Made Me Hot.
48. I love my six packs so much; I protect it with a layer of
fat.
49. I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice.
50. I heard you took an IQ test and they said you’re results were
negative.
51. If there is no chocolate in heaven…”I AM NOT GOING”.
52. You don’t have to like me after all, I’m not a Facebook
status.
53. I don`t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.
54. Hey, I found your Nose; it was in my business again.
55. Reading texts half asleep is like looking into the sun.
56. If you`re texting two people at the same time, you are
biTextual.
57. Want to surprise your girlfriend? Introduce her to your wife.
58. I don’t make mistakes, I date them.
59. My girlfriend is like my iPad...I don`t have an iPad.
60. The longer the title the less important the job.
61. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am
right.
62. When in doubt, mumble.
63. By the time you learn the rules of life, you’re too old
to play the game.
64. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing
well.
65. Women should not have children after 35. Really… 35 children
are enough.
66. Without ME, it’s just AWESO.
67. If you hurt my best friend, I will make your death look like
an accident.
68. Never have more children than you have car windows.
69. God must love stupid people- he made so many!
70. I like children. Properly cooked.
71. Until I was thirteen I thought my name was 'Shut up'.
72. My Mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
73. The worst distance between two people is misunderstanding.
74. If women could read minds, every second man will get slapped.
75. I am not failed, my success is just postponed.
76. Do it today, It might be illegal tomorrow.
77. The greatest pleasure in Life is doing what people say you
can’t do.
78. If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.
79. God made every person different, He just got tired by the
time he got to china.
80. Some people just need a High-Five, on the face.
2. Good girls are bad girls, who never get caught.
3. I didn't change, I just woke up.
4. You are so awesome that, my middle finger salutes you.
5. Silence is better than lies.
6. I am not lazy, I just rest before I tired.
7. Be what you want to be, not what other wants to see.
8. If “Plan A” didn't work. Don’t worry; the alphabet has 25 more letters.
9. Do what is “Right”, not what is “Easy”.
10. If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.
11. I’m not perfect, I am original.
12. All girls are my sisters except you.
13. I am only responsible for what I say, not for what you
understand.
14. I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.
15. Before you judge me, Make sure that you’re perfect.
16. Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.
17. You can do anything, but not everything.
18. Having one child makes you a parent, having two makes you a
referee.
19. All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of
chips.
20. I never make stupid mistakes, only very-very clever ones.
21. I don't always have time to study... but when I do, I don't.
22. Sometimes you just need some space, to fart.
23. At least mosquitoes are attracted to me.
24. I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon
dioxide.
25. The only thing I gained so far in 2014 is weight.
26. Dry fruits are just fruits that have become senior citizens.
27. When you drop your phone, your heart hits the ground before
your phone does.
28. That moment when even Caps Lock can’t express your anger.
29. (-_-) x 1.3 Billion people = China
30. Dear Samsung, please also start selling jeans that can
accommodate your smartphones.
31. Sometimes the only one, who can appreciate you, is you.
32. Don’t steal, the government hates competition.
33. You’re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.
34. I'm pretty sure my prayers go directly to God's spam folder.
35. I am not fat, I am just. Easier to see.
36. I never make the same mistake twice. Three, four times maybe.
But never twice.
37. They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who’s in a
hurry?
38. A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is
finished.
39. You don’t realize how many clothes you have, until you wash
them.
40. When you wait for a waiter in a restaurant, aren’t you a
waiter?
41. Try to say the letter "M" without your lips touching.
42. Kidnapping? I prefer the term “surprise adoption”.
43. Weird is a side effect of awesome.
44. If girls could read minds..Every second a man would get
slapped.
45. Relationships are a lot like Algebra. Have you ever looked at
your X and wondered Y?
46. Think twice before you speak, you'd be able to say something
more Insulting.
47. I Was Born Cool, Global Warming Made Me Hot.
48. I love my six packs so much; I protect it with a layer of
fat.
49. I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice.
50. I heard you took an IQ test and they said you’re results were
negative.
51. If there is no chocolate in heaven…”I AM NOT GOING”.
52. You don’t have to like me after all, I’m not a Facebook
status.
53. I don`t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.
54. Hey, I found your Nose; it was in my business again.
55. Reading texts half asleep is like looking into the sun.
56. If you`re texting two people at the same time, you are
biTextual.
57. Want to surprise your girlfriend? Introduce her to your wife.
58. I don’t make mistakes, I date them.
59. My girlfriend is like my iPad...I don`t have an iPad.
60. The longer the title the less important the job.
61. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am
right.
62. When in doubt, mumble.
63. By the time you learn the rules of life, you’re too old
to play the game.
64. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing
well.
65. Women should not have children after 35. Really… 35 children
are enough.
66. Without ME, it’s just AWESO.
67. If you hurt my best friend, I will make your death look like
an accident.
68. Never have more children than you have car windows.
69. God must love stupid people- he made so many!
70. I like children. Properly cooked.
71. Until I was thirteen I thought my name was 'Shut up'.
72. My Mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
73. The worst distance between two people is misunderstanding.
74. If women could read minds, every second man will get slapped.
75. I am not failed, my success is just postponed.
76. Do it today, It might be illegal tomorrow.
77. The greatest pleasure in Life is doing what people say you
can’t do.
78. If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.
79. God made every person different, He just got tired by the
time he got to china.
80. Some people just need a High-Five, on the face.
